Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year by Vanisha Uppal
Human beings are born with desires. Actually desires gives form to a soul, a new life. If you look closely, Christmas and all other festivals are there to celebrate human desires – gifts, new clothes, food, decoration, and parties etc. to make us feel special.
Do scriptures and holy books talk against desires? I don’t think so, it has been misinterpreted. The words of God are taken literally. The real meaning remains unknown to our noisy and rigid mind.
Live life like lotus in pond, which remains unaffected by the water around.
What does it means? To be detached while performing action– the word detachment, is just not a word but the destination itself. Do you think it is easy to attain it? It is important to understand that it is a long process and saturation is essential.
Saturation is also not another word but again the destination itself. Fulfilment of desires in the best possible way is needed to reach a saturation point.
What are the desires – a strong longing for an object or person. There is a continuous flow of thoughts – how to achieve it, a constant planning, talking and analysing in the mind, sometimes chain of lies to achieve it etc.
Many times mind says; it is not worth it, and tries to distract itself in some or the other way. But it is the deepest need of soul to experience. So it repulses back again and again with greater strength.
One might think he has conquered the desire by restraining it for long time but it is not the inner truth. There is a constant conflict inside. Analytical mind wins on the basis of concepts. But inner longing does not satisfy and keeps surfacing up because desires do not understand any logic and arguments. Still mind brings back attention to the rationality. This is a continuous fight inside till it is supressed deeply. As a result one becomes rigid and loses the inner and outer softness, spontaneity and innocence.
The supressed desires in childhood are the root cause of the adult problems. Children have very simple and innocent desires related to food and sleep. 70% market is based on food selling items. Food is the most important source of life after air and water. And it has always been neglected and underestimated. Food not only satisfies the senses to a greater extend but has power to heal body and mental problems. If a child is craving for something and it is not fulfilled, he subconsciously falls in a trap of manipulations. Then why to supress the simple desire and unnecessary encourage the child’s greed by not fulfilling it?
On the other side, Imagine you went to a European trip, you have all the money to buy everything you wish, but, you still might not be able to eat stomach full food, for some reason, like a toothache, bad stomach, vegetarian issues. How long can you enjoy the beauty all around and shopping branded bags and cloths? Food has so much impact on our life that only in its absence do we realise it.
Case 1
Mom- Get up from the bed quickly.
Banni- Its Sunday mom, let me sleep.
Mom- No matter, you need to get up by 8.30 at least.
Banni kept sleeping
Mom – Get up you lazy and eat breakfast on time.
Banni- what is there in breakfast?
Mom – Fruits, milk and paratha
Banni – I always get paratha in school, I want to have bread rolls today with onion and chatani.
Mom- Have a healthy breakfast. Spicy food is not good for the body.
Banni- Every day you give me healthy breakfast, one day will not make any difference.
Mom made big eyes, which means a big No.
Papa- why don’t you make Bread rolls for her?
Mom – You stay out of it.I have to take care of her health.
Banni and her Papa both exchange an understanding look which says I will get you something from market to substitute your carving.
Parents are the child’s Santa. Who else will fulfil the desires accept parents. But these day either parents just get everything or they become too strict.
Case 2
Mom – you slept well today on Sunday.
Banni – yes mom, I was very tired. Can I have bread rolls in breakfast along with mint chatani?
Mom – ok but first you need to finish milk and fruit.
Banni – ok mom.
Banni – can we go to market in evening, I want to buy a board game which I saw at my friend’s house.
Mom – I will buy you if you promise to consistently study everyday and get good marks in your upcoming Unit test in all the subjects.
Banni – I will try mom. But if I don’t get it then will you not get me the game?
Mom –If you don’t manage it this time, you have to work hard next time to get your game. But I will take you to food joint after your exams.
Banni – Yes mom I will try my best. You are the most balanced mom and I love you for that.
Sleep is also another important aspect in child’s growth. It is very important that child should sleep according to his or her body requirement, which varies from child to child. It is basic and essential need of a child. Relaxed body, relaxes the mind, then it works more efficiently.
We teach our children certain things which do not match with our own actions and behaviour. Books inspire when they match with the reality around the child.
- We teach them to talk less but we did we dont follow that.
- We teach them to eat right but never miss any opportunity to eat outside food.
- We teach them to spend wise, but who showed the way to shopping malls to our children? Who introduced him/her to branded clothes and shoes.
We make children a medium to fulfil our own unfulfilled desires. Let’s be truthful and accept it. Then question arises; what to do? We are now tagged as parents. The way out is to fulfil them truthfully.
Desires are beautiful if it is harmless to others. Imagine a life without desire. It is like Halwa without sweet, cake without sugar. Life is too dry. I don’t know how enlightened people feel. And I am not eagerly looking forward it. When it happens, it happens. Only thing I know is that there is a joy and sweetness in small things in life and I don’t want to throw that away right now. Life is constantly pushing all of us to outgrow our desire and realise the total freedom but I will decide my own saturation point not through concepts made by others.
Let us enjoy the Christmas and Happy New Year with new understanding.